Look how far I've come!

It was one of those moments that grab you and make you pause and reflect. . . I'm taking a class tomorrow to become a Range Safety Officer for shooting events.

The day began like any other day. I was busy at work, trying to do the usual ten things at once. An e-mail found its way to my work inbox. It was from Dave Jenkins, from Rochester Personal Defense, inquiring if I'd considered taking the Range Safety Officer class tomorrow. I was stunned and a lot of feelings ran through my brain at once. Mention the chance to get on the range and shoot guns and I'm all ears! But am I really ready to be a Range Safety Officer? Just then another e-mail came across my screen. This was a work related e-mail and I had to take care of it right then. Awhile later I sent Dave a quick e-mail stating I'd think about it. I would have to arrange for someone to look in on Molly as I would be gone most of the day. Geez, I'd planned this holiday weekend to be a work weekend around the house. A lot of things need to get done here.

By the middle of the day I decided sometimes opportunity only knocks once. Being a firearms instructor and/or a Range Safety Officer were things I looked forward to in the future. But now?

Once I made the decision to take the class, I came home and started gathering up the things I needed to bring with me tomorrow. One item was a one inch 3-ring binder. I went to my cabinet in my computer room. I reached to a top shelf a pulled down a binder.

The cover had a sheet enclosed that said, "Job Search 2003". Oh, my God, did that send a bolt of lightning through my body. Could I really open this binder and read what was there? You see, back in 2003, I decided to leave real estate. I loved being a realtor and I had a lot of loyal clients. I had been in real estate for seven years. It is one of those occupations where sometimes you make a lot of money and then there are months when you barely scrape by. Being a single person and solely responsible for my well being, I found I just could not survive in the business and it would be necessary to find a "real" job. . . one that paid a regular paycheck and one with benefits.

Those months of looking for a job were brutal. And as I thumbed through this binder showing all the steps I had taken to find an appropriate job, I remembered the feelings of pain and humiliation at what seemed like an eternity finding a job. To make matters worse, my father died unexpectedly during this time and I had to drop everything and go to Florida to bury him and settle his affairs.

It was definitely a very low point in my life and this binder, with all its notes, just really hit me in my soul like I could not have imagined.

I looked up and Molly was staring at my with her innocent look as if she were thinking, "What's your problem?" Dogs have a way of doing that!

Then it hit me! Instead of opening up those old wounds, why not look how far I had come. I have been an employee at the University of Rochester for 7 years. I wouldn't exactly rate the UofR and their ridiculous form of office politics the most desireable place to work. But on the other hand. . . I have job security, good benefits, and I can pay my bills. In this economy, that is something to be thankful for.

Yes, there have been rough spots over the years. But I only need to look around me and see there are a lot of people much worse off than I am. I own my home. I have financial security. I have family and friends that care about me. What more do I need???