A tough post to write

This week has been a challenge just trying to stay on track.

My older Lab, Molly, began showing symptoms that I thought needed a vet's attention. I'm a strong woman, and can take whatever comes my way, as I have proven many times over the years.  But don't throw the "c" word at me if you are talking about one of my dogs.  Molly has cancer of the bladder.

I honestly don't remember driving home.  One minute, I was listening (or trying to) what the vet was saying.  The next thing I knew, I was in my home trying to make sense of what had happened.

The next day I called the vet and asked him to repeat what he had told me and apologized for not remembering what he said.  He explained everything in detail.

I read everything online that I could about canine bladder cancer, then called the vet back and asked what he thought of what I was thinking.  I will not consider surgery, given Molly's advanced age. . . not to mention, if they did do surgery, and found the tumor inoperable, the surgery would be in vain.

She is on medication and it is possible the medication could shrink the tumor.  The vet says he has known dogs to live weeks or months with Molly's condition.

I'm a strong believer in quality of life.  Tonight I gave her a beef bone.  She got really excited about that and chewed away on it in pure joy.  Later, the UPS man delivered a package and she ran to the door. . . all these are good signs.  Right now I am focused on the good signs.

My neighbors across the street, who take care of Morgan and Molly when I am away, were upset to hear about Molly.  Sara is a mother of three young children.  When I was away over Thanksgiving, she said coming over to care for the dogs was her "me" time.  She is especially attached to Molly, as Morgan, with her young, rambunctious personality can be trying to someone not used to that.  One night, she put Morgan in her cage and just spent quiet time with Molly, petting her and talking to her.  I'm sure Molly ate that right up!

I really love the Labrador Retriever.  I've owned four of them dating back to 1985 and can't imagine living without one.  When it is time, I will give Molly a peaceful, dignified death.  But now is not the time.